Brother Dearest (JAK)

6 years since i've seen you
you left us in the worst way
no phone calls. no visits.
is it really too much to ask?

dad has given up on you
but i haven't.
i know you have potential
you tried so hard for us kids
and we worked hard for you
but you let us down.

but i've always kept some hope
whether its deserved or not
i'm hoping some part of you
still cares about us - even a little
i wish you would come back
or keep in contact at the least


i miss you.

Ages Since Writing

So I don't really have anything in particular to write, but its been a while... so I figure its about due time. I don't exactly remember what I last wrote about though, so if I repeat anything bear with me. :)

Well I've been working quite a bit lately, not exactly as much as I would like, but free time is nice too... just not earning me any money. Haha. Apparently I just got a new manager... again. When I was first hired I got hired by Yvette. Then my first day she had been transfered and Eddie was my manager. Now today I found out we have a NEW manger! Eddie was transfered! He was pretty awesome too - so I'm nervous for tomorrow to meet her and all. I'm hoping shes nice.

Anyways, since school got out I've been doing quite a bit (besides working that is). I took a trip to the grand canyon and hiked partway down and back out, I've hung out with my cousins - finally -, went to a yearbook convention in scottsdale, designed some spreads, and even managed to get grounded.

I'm loving having my laptop that I got for my birthday (which I probably haven't mentioned). I've realized that I also love Taylor Swift, her lyrics are amazing. Also, my best friend Kristen starts working with me at Fry's on Tuesday and I couldn't be more excited. I'll also be leaving for Utah on the 27th for about ten days! I'm so excited! :) Oh and I got a new phone - the Versa. I absolutely love it; couldn't be more happy with it.

So overall things are pretty great. They could be better... I'm not too happy with some people. For example, someone finally moved to town and they've manager to talk to me about 3 times... each time I had to talk to them first. Its downright ridiculous, but hopefully I'll forget about it soon.

Spring Break With Shayyy

So for Spring Break, the beginning of it anyways, Shalai stayed with our family. She came on Sunday after I got off work (8 and a half hour shift... 6am to 2:30 after I had just closed at midnight the night before) and she stayed til Wednesday afternoon.

So regretably we didn't take any pictures on Sunday, but we didn't look too swell, so you can't blame us. But we didn't do too much anyways... just made cookies, slept (I did, I was exhausted), watched movies and tv, and talked to the boys... But Monday we woke up at about 10:30.. 11ish and got ready, then went to Olive Garden!! :) It was totally amazing. And I wore one of Shay/Mikalies really cute shirts cause I'm not a huge fan of any of mine.

Then from there we walked to the mall. Since its just across the lot and all.. Haha, so we just looked around and I bought this really cute shirt at Forever 21 (I need to shop there more) and I wanted jeans, but I kept myself from doing so. I'm addicted.. Haha but we did try on prom dresses and this is the one I liked. It was so cute! :) Well the picture isn't, but the dress was. :) Then later we went to see Race to Witch Mountain with my family and I loved it! It was so good!



Anyways, then on Tuesday we rode the light rail (Shay hasn't been on it) and went to downtown Phoenix and went to this amazing pizza place with HUGEEE pizzas and AMAZING brownies :) We had alot of fun there.

Then Emma's feet hurt so we put her on Shalai's shoulders and took a detour before we got back on the light rail. I didn't like any of me and Shay that we took, although Shay looked super cute... but here is one of Emma and mom looking at the newspapers Emma just HAD to have. Haha.

Well anyways, later that day we got back and hung out with my best friend Kristen (she got her license!) and just hung out and stuff. Then on Wednesday we went to Superstition Mall and watched Inkheart which was surprisingly very good, then ate, then Shay went home with her mom and sister (who went to the movie with us too) and it was sad. Then I worked.. Haha, but I had a great week! I just hope it stays this great.. but I'm not sure; all my friends are out of town now. But we'll see! I have high hopes. :)

Unsure

Well, as you know, I haven't been in the best of moods lately...

So I went to work today in that same mood. And as I was collecting carts I passed a lady and she looked at me and said, "You don't see beautiful girls like that anymore." And smiled and me and did the whole 'curves' thing. She probably has no idea how much that meant to me. It totally brightened my mood and helped me come to a few realizations that aren't easy to come to without a little push.

Of course I'm still not super happy as I have been this past month, but I'm starting to get past everything that happened. Yes, I wish it wasn't ending, but thats life. And knowing what I know its probably a good thing actually.

Anyways my cousin Amaree and her children Kade and Charlie are visiting this week from Montana. I'm so super excited; I've missed them so much!

And tomorrow is my choir concert, and I'm very excited for that too. I'm gonna have to call in at work, which isn't good considering I'm so new. But there really is nothing I can do about it.

Then I have Tuesday off and Friday off. And I think I'm going to be babysitting Kade and Charlie on Friday so Amaree can go to the temple.

Oh, and I finally finished my letter to my big brother, John Alan. I'm not sure if he'll get it, but I sure hope he does. I need him more than anything right now and I miss him sooooo much. I just wish he knew, hence the point of my letter.

Well, I have school tomorrow. It seems so weird to have school, working made the weekend last so long. Hopefully I have no homework; cause if I do I didn't do it. :)

Not Happy

Today just wasn't my day. It was probably the worst day I've ever had in at least a month... at least. Probably longer. Bad days just ain't my thing.

Anyways I don't want to go into details, but its a good thing I work alot this upcoming week and this weekend cause I need to keep occupied or I'll just get more upset and/or mad.

<3

My Current Infatuations:

Joel from "This Century"

I basically want him. :)

Kris Allen from "American Idol"

He may be married, but secretly he wants me.

I just know he'll leave her for me. Haha.

and Jared Followill from Kings of Leon. <3

Job.. Finally

Its really early right now. Like 7:15 in the morning. But I really have nothing better to do.

Anyways, the reason I am up so early is because I have training for my new job at Fry's at 8:00 and I can't be late. So I'm ready early, which kind of sucks. But its better than being late because I would be locked out and no job for Natalie...

Well this weekend has been super busy, but its been a lot of fun. On Friday after school I went over to Becah's and we had a lot of fun. We hung out with Sean and Brian at one point, that was fun. And Saturday morning we went to a "mini-conference" for her stake. I got to see Alannah and I haven't seen her in ages. It was great.

Then after I got home from Becah's my mom took me to buy a new shirt and pants for my job. I don't like the pants though, I didn't realize they were mid-rise... I'm gonna switch them for low rise. But then after that we went to my grandparents in Queen Creek to see my Uncle Eric, Aunt Danielle, and their new baby Samuel Hauk. He is soooo adorable. I'm glad I got to meet him before he grew up and wasn't a baby anymore. I'm so glad they came down.

I would post a picture of Sam, but my camera died when we got there and I didn't take my camera charger... I was so mad. Ken took pictures on his phone, but he doesn't have texting and therefore can't send any. But soon...

Anyways now I have training today and homework. So to sum up my life at the moment; Amazing. :)